So the husband and I were all ready for a nice leisurely lie in this morning -- we'd been talking about it all week, how we would sleep in on Saturday. Apparently, the cat had other plans.

We were woken at around 5:30 by the sound of Cleopatra tearing the foil off of Brandon's terrarium. He, of course, leaped out of bed to chase and chastise, and by the time he got back, we were both wide awake.

So we have spent the last three hours lying in bed, watching the early, early news and have now switched to cartoons. We have had coffee and toast.

It's a good Saturday after all.

I'm sitting in a coffee shop with a bunch of community college rejects "studying" really loudly, a 50-something guy in a leather motorcycle jacket letting two slightly younger women "in" on the sordid world of Hollywood, and a kindred spirit -- a man with a powerbook in his lap and a moleskine notebook propped open, scribbling wildly all by himself in a corner.

Subtlety much?

I was feeling down on myself today. My hair wasn't doing what it was supposed to, or my face was broken out, or my clothes didn't fit the way I would like them too, or my cramps have returned in force, or I don't exercise the way I should, or I don't eat as I ought. Or whatever it was today.

And I was getting into that very negative spiral of comparing myself to people I admire (envy?), saying I wish I were as together as Friend A, or as empathetic as Friend B, or as cool as Friend C. I wish I were more like my sister in this way, more like my husband in that way, more like all these women in my SELF magazine.

And I was feeling down because I didn't measure up.

But, trying to make the best of a quiet, lazy, sunny Sunday afternoon, I put on my shorts and my tank top, and hid my shame at my blubbery whiteness behind a pair of sunglasses and headed to the apartment complex pool to soak up some sun, and there weren't too many beautiful people there, so I stayed. I lay on my back, reading my book for a while, and then I flipped over, facing the pool, to get some sun on my back.

That's when a man and his wife came through the gate. And I thought to myself, "How brave they are, a middle aged couple, not caring about the beautiful bikini-clad people, intent on enjoying some--"

And that is when I realized that the man had two prosthetic legs.

I suddenly had a whole new concept of brave as I circumspectly watched him unstrap his prostheses, climb down off his chair onto his knees, and crawl over to the edge of the pool where he laughed with his wife about how cold the water was before diving right in.

He wasn't physically fit, or any great body beautiful. He wasn't ashamed, either. He was laughing with another man sunbathing by the pool's edge, enjoying the sun and the water and his ability to move unfettered in it.

And I started to cry just a little bit. Because I was worried about being too pale, or 15 pounds overweight, or about having a little acne.

Yeah. OK, universe. I get it.

Life. Don't talk to me about life.

It's Friday, I only have to work a part-day, and I'm doing my damndest not to do any *actual* work today, hence you find me updating this blog which has been sadly neglected over the last few weeks.

It seems, from where I'm sitting, that not a lot has been going on, but I know that at least a few things have, so, in no particular order:

• I was going to go to Vegas with my bosses for the jewelry trade shows that go on there the first week in June, and I was all excited, and I had put in for a hotel room at the Wynn -- but now it looks like that's not going to happen. They were unable to finagle free day passes to the Couture show for me or any of my coworkers, and are unwilling to actually purchase badges for us (at $1300 a pop), so they have decided that our presence, once so vital to their wellbeing and success at the shows, is no longer required. Guess it's good I didn't run out and buy a new suit.
• The first term of my writing class ended this week, but the next one starts up next week, so I'll still have something to keep me out of trouble. I'm enjoying it, and everyone liked the piece I turned in for my last assignment, so that's a bonus.
• Also, I somehow got elected to lead an outside writing group for some of us from the class and our first meeting is tomorrow. Color me excited.
  
• My medicines are making me less wonky every day. At first I was really sick to my stomach and lethargic a lot, but that seems to be getting better. On the other hand, I've had one or two instances of shooting pains again, so that's not so good. But, at least it's not every day now. Vast improvement there. Supposed to go back to the doc to check on everything in another month or so.
• The French dinner was a great success. The leek soup, somewhat less so. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing, and my tummy decided that two days (really, I only got through one day) of leeks was WAY too much of a good thing.
  
• Speaking of leeks, we had a weird leak in the ceiling of our bathroom. Luckily, the ceiling has been painted over so many times, none of the water was actually leaking into the house -- it just formed this huge distended bubble in the ceiling that was squishy to the touch. Very odd. We were coming up with alternative plans of where to shower should the need to tear out the wall arise, but the handy man came and just took out a section of the ceiling, fixed the leaky pipe, and put a new piece back in the ceiling. (No telling if this actually fixed the whole problem -- like, what about mold, right? But we're not going to be here long enough to care, we hope. *Fingers crossed.*)
  

And honestly, I think that's it. I told you nothing interesting was going on out here. Y'all may think I'm holding out on you, but really I'm just sparing you from "Today I watched TV and went to bed," type posts.

You can thank me later.